Four

I am so tired of feeling tired. I was exhausted the day after Christmas. Worked a little too hard I guess - cooking, cleaning, wrapping, decorating, and more cooking. Julian III tried to help as much as possible - but you know how it is - nobody does it like I do. Friday and Saturday I could barely walk. Feeling much better today. Actually took the dogs for a walk yesterday. Just take each day at a time - nurture my soul, my spirit, and my body! I just keep telling myself only 2 more infusions - in February I will be done! PARTY! PARTY!

Four Down and Two To Go

Well, lets see 4+2=6, so I have 4 down and two to go. See, all you need to know you learn in Kindergarten. Yesterday's treatment went very well. Arrived at 9:15, finished by 1:00 pm. I even was able to get some shopping down and was back home by 4:30 pm.

Monday I helped Santa Claus at Wellspring Women's Center. We passed out Christmas Stockings and Gingerbread cookies to over 100 children. Laura Allen took pictures as the children sat on Santa's lap, whispering in his ear their special Christmas wish. The cookies were a big hit - donated by Ettore's - pink gingerbread girls and blue for the boys! For some children the smiles came easily - for others it it appeared as though the smile was lost somewhere! A lost smile - can you imagine being a child and not being able to remember how to smile! Let's hope as we continue to support Wellspring that we can bring those smiles back. Looking into their eyes, I cannot help but wonder what the future holds for them! How fortunate we are - Pray for the families of Wellsping and that child who has lost their smile!

Merry Christmas! God's Blessings Be With You!

The Third Day is a Charm

The third day following chemo is like venturing into an unknown territory. The 3 day regimen of steroids is over, one's energy level begins to drop, and the joints begin to ache. During the steroid time I try to accomplish as much as possible. Sunday, worked in the classroom following Mass from 11:00 - 7:00! Lesson plans done, new calendar, homework packet, etc. Normally, (if there is anything normal about all this) my third day falls on Sunday - so it is my day of rest. However, due to change in infusion to Monday - Thursday was my day of rest!

Yesterday I could not keep my eyes open. I slept most of the day. Thank you Mary H. and Katie F. taking over in the classroom! Next infusion during Christmas break! Thank goodness!

The Kindergarten students came up with some great suggestions on how to keep "Peace" in our classroom.

1. be kind
2. PRAY
3. listen
4. share
5. follow the rules (grown ups have to follow laws)
6. be quiet
7. be a good student
8. no fighting
9. go to Mass
10. respect
11. good manners
12. smile
13. sing
14. LOVE
15. love your family

Well, I once read "All You Need to Know You Learn in Kindergarten!" Open your ears world! It is not that simple - yet, it is not that difficult!

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me and stop keeping them away, because the kingdom of heaven belongs to people like these." Matthew 19:14

Chemo

Arrived at Kaiser at 9:30 am and the oncology department was packed due to Thanksgiving holiday. One patient in particular caught my eye. A lovely young woman, early 20's accompanied by her father both smiling and waiting patiently. Many elderly patients, men and women - 70's, 80's my how stressful it much be at that age! It like we belong to a "Members Only Chemo Club"! The conversation is light and cheerful. No one wants to be chairperson! We just want to share about our families, pets, occupations, and tips on dealing with treatment!

My infusion went very well. My nurses were wonderful! One is a Wellspring volunteer and the other a very faith filled woman from St Mel's. My what a small world. We chatted away and the 3 hours of treatment went very quickly.

One of the patients sitting across from me was a retired Kindergarten teacher. She taught in the Rio Linda School District for 28 years. She still misses teaching every year when September rolls around! We just love those Kinders!

Thank you God for a very pleasant day. Each step I take in this journey is a lesson in patience!

Happy Advent - Hope - Patience - Peace - Love - Joy

Third chemo infusion today! Third times a charm as they say and only 3 more to go! I just hope this one goes as well as the last one. I am sure it will, as it is the first day of Advent - a time for patience, hope, love, joy, and peace!

Patience! I sometimes have difficulty with waiting! Waiting in line, being put on hold, waiting for test results, waiting for the internet to boot up, waiting, waiting, waiting! Waiting for my next chemo treatment! I just want to get it over with! Let's just do the next three infusions this week! Put that poison in me, lets get all this over with sooner than later. Hopefully, in the near future they will discover a way to cure Cancer with out chemo. Lets pray the next generation can just take a pill, or remove whatever it is in our environment that is causing this epidemic of breast cancer! Thank God for my surgeon (Dr. Bodai), his wonderful and very funny assistant (Terese Nakata), my oncologist (Dr. Hui) and all the nurses in the infusion room at Kaiser. Yes, God has blessed me with the best treatment and a good prognosis.

I think this will be the week I let the children draw on my bald head! They have been patient enough - asking nearly every day if today is the day. Washable markers only please! Maybe I can hang up my hat for awhile, we have some wonderful artists in Kindergarten. Maybe I can be the next "Bald Lisa"!

Not being in the classroom is what troubles me most. Today is a very special day - we bless the Advent wreath and light one purple candle. The children so enjoy this time of year! Waiting for Santa but most important waiting for the birth of baby Jesus. I am so excited! I purchased a new Nativity scene for the children. Of course, baby Jesus will not be present until after December 25! They always ask why and I say "Be patient he has even been born yet!" Yes the wonderful life of a Kindergarten teacher.

I love my job!

Santa Cruz Blues

Wellll, I have the Santa Cruz blues! We couldn't wait for Sunday to come, like a couple of kids waiting for Christmas. Santa Cruz here we come! We arrived at the beach around 2:00 pm checking in at the Terrace Court Motel across from the boardwalk. Ohhh, the smell of the ocean air, the sound of the waves, the barking of the seals, the gentle screams of the children as they chase the waves - I just love the beach. The weather is perfect - 68 degrees. Fond memories of Santa Cruz as a child, as a mother and now as a breast cancer survivor. What better place to revisit the past, visit the present, and make plans for the future. Seven whole days - count them Sunday to Sunday, yipppeeee!

Tuesday afternoon after a relaxing walk on the beach, I experience the worst case of the dizzies. Equilibrium is so off! I am walking in a zizzag and my head is spinning. Thoughts run through my mind! Did I get too excited, too tired, too much walking - I just have such a hard time setting limits on myself! I am not used to this and I do not like it!

Poor Julian! He insists we must go home in the morning (Wed.). I agree, putting myself in his place. No Kaiser in Santa Cruz and 2.5 hours from home. Goodbye beach, goodbye sea lions, goodbye sea air, goodbye pelicans, goodbye Santa Cruz.

Just outside of Santa Cruz we receive a phone call from our son! He and his friend Ina are going to prepare Thanksgiving dinner for us! He is so sorry we had to come home! Wow, what a nice surprise. Thank you God for two wonderful days at the beach, thank you for my family and friends.

No more blogging tonight - I am feeling way to serious - not much humor in this old soul this evening.

"Caps for Sale"

One of my favorite books is "Caps for Sale"! If you haven't had a chance to share this book with your child - now is the time. Now that my son is 23 he not too keen on me reading to him anymore. He has better things to do - like shave his mom's head on a Saturday afternoon. Slowly, methodically he gently drags the razor across my scalp. Daisy and Tiny (dogs) watching with keen interest, as if to say "What the heck are you doing to mom?" "What a great head you have mom", comments Anthony, "you are so lucky - it is perfectly shaped." He is too kind that son of mine.

Friday morning after Mass I receive a wonderful surprise from my Kindergarten friends. A gift box wrapped so lovely, I hesitated to open it. Adorned with a big pink bow amid paper of brown and pink circles! Inside, hats, hats, scarves, scarves! I love hats! Now I have only of almost every imaginable color! A scarf for every hat. How toasty warm I will be in the am. The most stylish teacher on the blacktop! And people wonder how I stay so strong - or do they? These "Caps are Not For Sale"!

2A:00 am

Well, here I am in the wee hours of the morning drinking a cup of hot chocolate with soy milk. I understand soy milk is much better for you than cow's milk, especially for women who have breast cancer. Then, I read maybe not - because soy increases the production of estrogen. That is not good thing, since too much estrogen can increase the recurrence of the tumor. Wellll, too much information. Everything in moderation, isn't that the key.

One week ago today I had my second Chemo treatment. It actually went pretty well this time. I was better prepared. Messenger bag over my shoulder I walked in the infusion room with my walk man, (courtesy of teacher Linda) kindergarten paperwork, a very good book - "A Writing Program for Kindergarten", my camera and of course - good ole Julian III. Quite music, good book, IV in arm, what more could you want on a Thursday morning. Chemo coursing through the veins - creating a killing field, destroying old and new cells along the way! What a miracle drug! Just as long as it destroy the cancer cells!

The morning of my surgery I felt as though I was floating. You know, I was floating - floating on a sea of prayer! Even though my surgery was delayed four hours; I felt relaxed, confident and upbeat! Praise Be to the Lord. Thank you Sweet Jesus!
Thank you for the support of the St. Mary's community! Thank you for the support and kindness you have given my son. Thank you for the dinners, the hugs, the love, emails, cards, reading material, gifts, words of encouragement! My journey would be so difficult without all of you!

Sweet Jesus

Well, sweet Jesus did give me strength. I have survived the surgery, the first round of chemo and my butch haircut. I always wondered what it would feel like to have hair like my son did when he started baseball season. It actually feels pretty darn good. I am saving so much money on hair products, sleeping a little longer in the morning - no more hair dryer, no more hair dye, and soon no more hair. I been thinking I could let the kindergartners color on my on my bald head when the hair falls out - or would that be too weird?

I do not know what I would do without my St. Mary's family. The day of my surgery the staff and students continued to pray for me throughout the morning and afternoon. Second grade prayed every hour on the hour - shouting to the heavens - prayers for "Mrs.Elorduy"! The eighth grade students prayed quietly in the Chapel. My mailbox was overflowing with artwork and get well wishes written on neatly folded construction paper.

Friday, September 12, I glanced up at the phone and noticed that tiny annoying little red light flashing! Voice mail,voice mail - red light - red light! Forty-eight hours post biopsy. AAAAAhhhh, it's probably just a voice mail from a parent. It could be the doctor. I told her she could leave a message! Maybe that was silly of me! Don't you just love the word silly. It is such a gentler way of saying, "What the heck were you thinking!"

I slowly walked over to the phone, looking across at Mary, my associate teacher and her daughter chatting as they worked to tidy the room for the next day. Enter kindergarten code - "Hi, Janeen this is Doctor Chan. I wish I could be there in person to share this with you, sorry to leave a phone message! But I am afraid the news is not good! It is just as I thought - YOU HAVE TUMOR IN YOUR LEFT BREAST! Once again I am so sorry to leave this message on your voice mail!"
Then why did you! I know I gave you permission- but pleazzzzzeee - I had no idea the biopsy would be positive for cancer.

I wrote down the word "CANCER" on a piece of paper as I struggled to believe the words I had just heard! Mary walked over to take a glance at the paper I was holding in the air! Our eyes filled with tears. Fear clinched at my breast like a vice. How was I going to share this with the parents?. What about my sweet little Kindergartners. What about my son? How will I tell my husband? Dear God in heaven I never expected to hear the words CANCER! Give me strength sweet Jesus!

I glance across the room at my parents and see the disbelief in their eyes. This is difficult for me to share and for these young mothers/fathers to hear. You see, I have been teaching at this school for 14 years. I live in the neighborhood! I can walk, ride my bike or jog (ha) to school. It is a mere 1.4 miles. This is my community, my extended family so to speak. Trader Joes is our favorite meeting place! I hear my name tossed through the air - "Mrs. Elorduy - Mrs. Elorduy! What are you doing here? Don't you live in Kindergarten! You have a whole kitchen there! You can eat in the cafeteria, YUM!"

I always have to chuckle when I picture my husband, myself, my son and our two dogs dining in the cafeteria/multipurpose room - under the "Disco Ball" feasting on cafeteria food! Might not be such a bad idea, it would be good for my diet, the dogs could clean up, no need for a custodian and we would have a variety of rooms available for nap time!

This is why I love my job. The laughter, the imagination, creativity, it's ok to be different, it's ok to cry when it hurts, yes, I still love you even though you just dumped all the fish food in the tank, no that doesn't hurt its just my toe you're standing on, well, yes we kinda need to use a tissue instead of our shirt sleeve!
OK, we are going to the gym for PE now (kindergarten: why would we go to the gym to pee) - I did not say to pee - I said PE, remember Coach, run around, scream, yell, chase, a place to wear ear plugs, the gym, PE! Oooo, yeah!

The world of Kindergarten! What can I say I love my job!

Problem of the Day!

Back to school night went rather quickly this year! Or was it because of the announcement I was about to share my Kindergarten parents. Wait - a hand goes up -please one more question! I hope it is a long one. Nope,just a concerned parent wondering if their child will be able to find their way to the bathroom. I assure him that each child always has a bathroom buddy - not to worry! Well how about this very minute -I need a buddy - will everyone remind me it going to be OKKKKK!!

Looking over at my principal, catching the eyes of my associate teacher, and a prayer for strength- my lips began to utter the words, "I am sorry to say, but I have breast cancer."