Friday, September 12, I glanced up at the phone and noticed that tiny annoying little red light flashing! Voice mail,voice mail - red light - red light! Forty-eight hours post biopsy. AAAAAhhhh, it's probably just a voice mail from a parent. It could be the doctor. I told her she could leave a message! Maybe that was silly of me! Don't you just love the word silly. It is such a gentler way of saying, "What the heck were you thinking!"

I slowly walked over to the phone, looking across at Mary, my associate teacher and her daughter chatting as they worked to tidy the room for the next day. Enter kindergarten code - "Hi, Janeen this is Doctor Chan. I wish I could be there in person to share this with you, sorry to leave a phone message! But I am afraid the news is not good! It is just as I thought - YOU HAVE TUMOR IN YOUR LEFT BREAST! Once again I am so sorry to leave this message on your voice mail!"
Then why did you! I know I gave you permission- but pleazzzzzeee - I had no idea the biopsy would be positive for cancer.

I wrote down the word "CANCER" on a piece of paper as I struggled to believe the words I had just heard! Mary walked over to take a glance at the paper I was holding in the air! Our eyes filled with tears. Fear clinched at my breast like a vice. How was I going to share this with the parents?. What about my sweet little Kindergartners. What about my son? How will I tell my husband? Dear God in heaven I never expected to hear the words CANCER! Give me strength sweet Jesus!